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https://amzn.to/4eDQRH2Mark 10:2-12
What does the Bible teach about divorce?
7 teachings of the Bible about marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
First some background of our passage.
During this time, there was a big debate going on about divorce. Some followed the teachings of Rabbi Hillel and others, Rabbi Shammai. Rabbi Hillel was essentially in favor of no-fault divorce. Rabbi Shammai thought you had to have a major reason to divorce.
This all goes back to Deuteronomy 24:1.
24 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, ...
The key issue was the phrase, “if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her.”
Rabbi Shammai taught indecency was like being involved in prostitution, or starting an Only Fans account. In other words, some gross immorality.
Rabbi Hillel taught this indecency could be anything at all - up to and including if he found another woman who was prettier.
The Pharisees asked Jesus which side he was on and Jesus chose Rabbi Shammai and even made it stricter saying this even applies it to women.
In Matthew 19:10, the disciples are shocked! The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
AND JESUS DOESN’T CORRECT THEM! Let that sink in for a minute.
In our messed-up world, the Church needs to get this right if we are going to have anything believable to say to the world about the degenerate weddings our world supports.
You’ve seen the bumper stickers - “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.” Christians need to apply it to this subject as well.
Number 1. The Bible teaches that marriage is God’s idea and it is only between one man and one woman, one time, for life.
No polygamy. No serial adultery. No concubines. No just living together.
Jesus goes back to Genesis and quotes scripture about how God originally designed marriage. Jesus said, “from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
One man, one woman, one time, for life. That should be the normal teaching and practice in the church.
Number 2. The Bible teaches that ordinarily, anyone who divorces his wife or husband and marries another commits adultery.
Here are 4 things we must do to avoid this sin.
First, we have to carefully pick our marriage partner. The Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked - in other words, marry a real Christian.
Second, we have to take vows seriously. When we get married, God has written the vows, whether or not you say them. You vow to stay together, regardless of your spouse’s health, wealth, or personality.
Third, we have to repent of our sins in marriage. Never let the words, “that’s just the way I am” ever come from your lips over sinful behavior in marriage.
Fourth, we have to forgive. Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive. Jesus shocked him by saying 7 times 70. And you’re missing the point if you start keeping a notebook counting up to 490!
You’ve seen the signs, “Love means love.” Not much of a definition, is it?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes what love should be like.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
For a Christian, there is ALWAYS hope for healing, for restoration and for reconciliation. We follow Jesus, who was dead and buried for 3 days and still came back to life.
3 exceptions to this rule.
Number 3. First, Divorce and Remarriage is allowed over sexual immorality.
Jesus gave us this exception in Matthew 5:32 when he said, everyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery.
You are never required to divorce over sexual sin, Jesus clearly taught that it is a lawful ground for divorce.
Sexual immorality isn’t limited to adultery. Jesus used the term porneia and it refers to sexual immorality of many kinds, including prostitution, adultery, unrepentant hardcore pornography, and sexual abuse.
Forgiveness is always required of Christians, but reconciliation is not.
A spouse may forgive sexual sin and still file for divorce and in this case, remarriage would not be adultery.
Number 4. Second, Divorce and remarriage is allowed when an unbeliever is unwilling to continue living with a believer - 1 Corinthians 7:12-15.
If your spouse is unwilling to stay married because of your Christian faith, you can divorce and get remarried. This may occur when one spouse becomes a Christian or when a previously professing Christian, leaves the faith.
Make sure your spouse is leaving because you are a Christian - not because you are a jerk or have other serious issues.
This means you should seek counsel and be willing to accept correction before you claim they left because of your faith.
Even here, you should strive to remain together. Paul wrote, “for how do you know wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife.” - First Corinthians 7:16.
Under these circumstances, the Christian is free to remarry but only in the Lord.
Number 5. Third, there is an exception if one spouse stays in the house but abandons their duties.
In Exodus 21:10-11, Moses wrote about someone who took a second wife. That man was not allowed to diminish his first wife's food, clothing, or marital rights (and by this they meant sex). Otherwise, she was free to leave the marriage without penalty.
I believe this allows someone whose spouse has effectively deserted them while remaining in the house to be free to divorce.
What God was saying here is that at a certain point of neglect or abuse, it may be determined that a marriage partner is free to leave the marriage with no penalty.
Because of the deceitfulness of our hearts, this should not be done without the elders of the church investigating and agreeing.
I know this is embarrassing, but without outside judgment, we can always agree in our minds that the conditions are too bad to continue. We effectively move into the no-fault divorce standard. “I no longer felt happy.” “They were no longer attractive to me.” Or the most common, “I experienced emotional abuse.”
Number 6. if the Christian divorces for unbiblical grounds, they are to remain unmarried.
I know this is a hard teaching - but it is what the Bible teaches.
If you’ve gotten a divorce outside of what the Bible allows, as a Christian, you are called to repentance and are called to seek reconciliation.
This one teaching here would stop a lot of divorces in the church. There is no statement in the Bible about how it is OK if you “truly find your soulmate and just know that God brought you together!”
Number 7. what to do if you’ve had an unbiblical divorce and then remarried.
Jesus says that an unlawful remarriage constitutes the sin of adultery. So, what should you do? Divorce your current spouse and try to get back to your first one?
Let me answer this using a different example.
We know that fornication is a sin. But if the woman gets pregnant in this way, although the fornication act was sinful, the child born to the couple is not a sin.
You don’t repent of this by aborting the child. That would be compounding the guilt of the parents.
An unlawful remarriage is a sinful act, but the new union created by that marriage is a true, one flesh union that shouldn’t be aborted. Repentance should include confession of whatever sins may have led to that unlawful remarriage. But after confessing these sins to the Lord, you should receive the new marriage with repentant joy and faith.
I know this is a hard teaching. Some of you may have experienced a divorce, or two, or three. Some of your close family members may have divorced. You may have given them “moral support” to what constituted adultery.
If that’s the case, please remember that Jesus Christ came to save sinners - not saints. If we confess our sins (and this means admitting he is right and we are wrong), the Bible says he will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
And it also tells us that if we say we have no sins - we lie, and the truth is not in us.
This is Pastor John and Christ is still king!
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